The Amazing Elric Brother Telepathy
by Ranting and Raving
Summary: The new emperor of Xing tells Alphonse about a very strange scene that occurred inside Gluttony's belly. The explanation behind Edward's biggest Epic Fail in FMAB. Slight Almei and Lingfan. Rated T because of blood and violence is briefly mentioned.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Fullmetal Alchemist manga or the Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood anime. If I did, I'm sure as heck my 10****th**** grade English teacher wouldn't have given me a B-. (Oh, who am I kidding? Yes, she would.)**

This, thought Ling blearily, was the dirty little secret about being the Emperor: It was boring.

Terribly...painfully...boring.

Granted, there were some bright spots. The extravagant feasts never ceased to amaze him (though, in all honestly, anything involving food had that effect on him). Overseeing all the railroads being built and reforms being passed were also invigorating-it had been a long time since Xing had seen this kind of positive change. And then there was always the simple joy that came with being in _charge _of everyone.

But these unfortunately were just drops in an ocean of formality, bureaucracy, and unsigned documents that Ling always seemed to be drowning in ever since that ridiculous-looking crown was placed on top of his head.

Staring at the mountain of paper recently dumped on his desk, Ling decided the latter was by far the worst. _No wonder Father was such a grouch._

"Can't you just transmute my signature on the papers?" he kept begging Alphonse and Mei. The two of them were there (or so they claimed) to keep this company while Lan Fan, his usual companion, was recovering from a bad case of the flu. He secretly suspected that Lan Fan had put them up to it to make sure he didn't skip out on his duties.

(This was EXACTLY what had happened, and the whole scenario had struck Alphonse to be vaguely familiar.)

"I can't." said Mei. "I'd have to form a transmutation circle on top of the papers. The knives would just tear them up."

He turned to Al. "Well, what about you, Mister Clap-my-hands-and-perform-alchemy-without-a-circle? What's your excuse?"

Al gave an apologetic smile. "Sorry. I just don't have the precision Brother did. If I tried, it'd probably just come out as one big blob of ink."

"And then you'd have even more work to do." added Mei.

Ling placed his head on the desk. "I think I liked it better when we were fighting the Homunculi." he griped. "At least none of that involved any paperwork."

Alphonse raised an eyebrow. "_Really. _You liked it better when you were being attacked by insane, human-hating alchemical creations."

"And when you were turned _into _one of those insane alchemical creations." Said Mei.

"And when you were trapped inside Gluttony's belly?"

"And when Wrath was trying to cut you to piece-"

"Okay, okay, I get it." The last thing the young ruler wanted to do was remember the destruction Wrath had caused. The memories still were too painful to have a casual conversation.

He chuckled weakly. "Yeah...Gluttony's stomach was pretty bad, wasn't it? I thought we were done for. Especially the way Ed was acting..."

The two alkehestrists looked at him. "What happened?" They asked in unison.

_Yeesh,_ thought Ling. _They're like two heads on one body._

But, eh, why not tell them the story? At least it'd distract from making him do his work.

===()===

_Edward Elric held up his brother's detached metal arm. "He's gotta be freaking out wondering where we are right now..."_

_Ling and the Fullmetal alchemist were trapped in what they could only assume to be Gluttony's stomach-as disgusting as that sounded. There hadn't been any sign of Alphonse since after the homunculus had swallowed them whole. (Again, disgusting)._

_Then the Xingese prince had spotted the piece of armor perched on a crumbled wall. It was a mixed blessing- while it meant that the rest of Alphonse probably escaped the attack, it also meant that he was alone and had no idea where the rest of the group was._

_"I wish there was some way I could contact him..." Ed murmured. He stared intensely at it for a few seconds, and then lifted the arm above his head._

What's he about to do?_Ling thought. Perhaps it was some kind of alchemy? Whatever it was, it'd better be good. They needed to get out of there fast before something- and what the hell?_

_The Fullmetal alchemist was waving the arm over his head like a complete lunatic._

_"WAAAAAAAAAHHHAAAAAAHH! CONVENIENTLY AWAKEN TELEPATHIC POWERS! ELRIC BROTHER TELEPATHY!"_

_"YAAAAHHAAAHH!"_

_Not really knowing how to react, Ling decided to just walk away. "Yeeah, good luck with that." he muttered._

We're doomed.  
_  
"COME IN, BROTHER, COME IN!"_

===()===

Alphonse covered his eyes.. "Oh, Brother..." he sighed

Mei just stood there, mouth agape. Her omnipresent pet panda wore a similar expression. "I cannot believe...I actually had...a _crush_ on that idiot. I mean, _really_! Did he really think that would actually work?"

"I don't know. He seemed pretty convinced to me." Ling shrugged. "Then again, we were wading knee-deep in an endless lake of blood. I ate Edward's _boot _for dinner! A little hysteria at the moment wasn't exactly uncalled for."

"Oh, no, he believed it." Al sighed. "Honestly, Ed... It was one time..."

Ling's mouth flew open. "Wait. You mean there's actually some TRUTH in this?!"

The young Emperor may have seen the Elric brothers do some unbelievable things, but come _on._ _Telepathic powers?_

_I knew it. They're Homunculi in disguise._

"Well, it happened a long time ago..."Alphonse began.

===()===

"Brother and I were about...four and three. It was summer, and Ed was helping Mom out in the backyard garden she'd planted. I wanted to help, too, but Mom wouldn't let me- I can't remember why. Not old enough to hold a trowel or something like that."

Al gave a small smile. "I was pretty put out about that. You see, we were always trying to do little stuff to make Mom happy. Our father...he'd already left us by then. She tried to hide it from us, but you could tell that it was really hard on her. That actually might've been the reason we got so obsessed with alchemy to begin with. I think by watching us perform tricks, she felt a little closer to Dad."

"Well, well, well" Mei playfully teased. "Looks like you two were quite the Mama's boys."

"Well, she was a great mother."Al said quietly. The room went respectfully silent for a second.

"Anyway, so there I was on the front porch, brooding like a three year old and bored out of my mind. Then, I saw these older in bathing suits walk by. They were laughing, and it looked like they were having a lot of fun. So, I got it into my head to go follow them."

"Like I said, Mom was in the garden out back, so she had no clue I left. Even though she didn't hear from me for a while, she just assumed I was still sulking on the front porch- I was usually pretty good at obeying the rules. Brother was always the one who came up with half-baked ideas."

Ling snorted. Understatement of the century.

"So what does this have to do with your alleged 'telepathic powers'?" asked Mei.

"I was getting to that. So, where was I...oh yeah. So, I was following the kids- I kept my distance from them because I didn't think they'd let a little kid tag along with them-when we ended up at this pond. They spent about half an hour there, playing on this old rope swing, and daring each other to go higher and higher and...you get the point. Then one boy mentioned this story about a haunted barn being somewhere nearby. They all went to check it out.

"After they were gone, I came out from the bush I hid behind and decided to give a rope swing a try. Mind you, I couldn't swim. But the other kids looked like they were having so much fun- I guess I just couldn't resist. I told myself if I didn't let go, I'd be fine..."

He shrugged, "Annnd, you can probably guess what happened next."

"You let go? Al-sama, why would you-"

"Not on purpose!" Al protested."I just didn't fully understand the principle of inertia at the time. And when a three year old tries to fight gravity, gravity wins. By a lot." He shook his head. "Anyway, I landed in the deepest part of the pond. There must have been, I don't know, at least three between my feet and the bottom. I tried to swim, but the best I could do was thrash around for a few seconds before going completely under.

"Just then, a HUGE force of some kind surged up from under me and catapulted me out of the water. Somebody had used alchemy to raise the bottom of the pond." He grinned. "Take a wild guess who."

Ling started laughing. "Unbelievable."

Alphonse nodded. "It was Ed! He'd seen me just as my head went under water. He couldn't swim, either, so in a panic, he just used what we learned in Dad's study. You know, now that I think about it, it was the first time of us had ever created an alchemist platform." he added thoughtfully.

"Ed was a little overzealous; I landed two feet from the pond's edge and sprained my wrist on impact. But, at that point, I could've have cared less. He ran over to me, punched me on the shoulder for -what'd he say?- being 'such a big dummy of a baby brother'. I just kind of held on to him and shivered for a few seconds before Mom came running down the hill. She was furious with me, or, well, as furious as Mom could be, anyway.

"She then gave both of us a strangulating hug and asked Ed, 'But, how did you know? One moment you were with me planting flowers, and the next you just ran off without saying anything."

"Maybe it was because he saw the kids passing by and subconsciously knew I'd follow them. Maybe he somehow heard me screaming. I don't know. Apparently, Brother didn't either, cause he just shrugged and said, "I don't know. I just did."

Al smiled and shook his head at the memory.

"...And that's when he got it into his head that he could somehow send you telepathic messages." Mei concluded.

"Did you ever figure out how he did it?" asked Ling. The Homunculus theory wasn't completely dispelled from his mind yet.

"No. But, believe me, he tried. For weeks afterwards, he kept making me do 'telepathy practice' with him. And yes, one of them involved us waving each other's personal belongings over our head and yelling." The Amestrian ambassador face palmed for the second time that night. "Needless to say, it never worked."

"But how DO you think it happened? Come on, Allu-sama. I know you. You've got to at least have a theory." Mei urged.

Alphonse considered it for a moment. "Well...you know how friends are said to be connected by their souls?"

"They are," Ling said firmly.

"Well, I think that connection is even stronger for brothers. Or at least, for Brother and me. We grew up together. We learned alchemy together. I could probably count the number of memories I have that /don't/ involve Brother on one hand." he paused. "I'd die for him if I had to, and I know he'd the same for me. This might sound ridiculous to you, but I think that a small part of our souls are actually in each other."

"Even back then?"

"Even back then."

The room went quiet for again. Ling sat back on his chair. "Ah. Well, I don't think that sounds ridiculous at all."

"Me too," Mei said quietly. He could tell she was thinking the same exact thing he was. It was the same thing he always felt whenever he saw how close the two Elric brothers really were. To think that there could be such love between siblings...well, let's just say that someone in Ling's position couldn't help but be amazed.

And perhaps even a little jealous. Most of his brothers had tried to _kill_ Ling at one point. Granted, it had never bothered him that much- he had the Yao clan, and Lan Fan and Grandfather to look after him. It was only until he had met the Elrics that he had realized how completely messed up the whole system was. Killing your brothers and sisters? For power? And not being bothered by it at all. When Edward saw his brother sacrifice his own body so that he could fight, it certainly bothered him.

In fact, it was the first time he ever saw that mask of indifference Edward wore come completely off. Homunculus may not have known why a mere human could beat him to a bloody pulp, but Ling sure did. He was being powered by the raw, blinding fury that that came with losing the one thing _you could not lose_.

He looked at Mei and gave her a small smile. She smiled back. He could never reconcile with his other siblings after those years of cut-throat politics, but he/had/ gotten quite fond of his Chang half-sister during their return home to Xing. And for his part, he seemed to have earned a special place in her heart when he promised he'd put the Chang family under his protection. And, after all, it was hard not to like someone after sharing an adventure together.

_Well, Little sister, _he thought, _Perhaps you and I at least have the chance to be a family._

The prolonged silence in the room began to irritate Xiao Mei. She started to angrily fidget and chirrup on Mei's shoulder.

Mei laughed. "Well, I guess that's our cue to leave. Come on, Al. We've got training first thing tomorrow."

The Amestrian glanced at Ling. "Don't we have to ask the Emperor if we can leave first?"

Ling rolled his eyes. "We've been through this, Al. The only time you /ever/ need to use those stupid court formalities is if we're in the presence of someone who actually cares. And trust me, right now, you're the only one in this room that does."He gestured to the door. "Go ahead. I'm sorry I kept you up so late."

After the two of them said their goodbyes and left, Ling stared back at the huge piles of unsigned scrolls. Ugh, was it just him, or did the stack somehow get _bigger_?

Desperately scanning the room for an excuse /not/ to do his job, his eyes landed on a dagger case Lan Fan had given him the day of his coronation.

_"It's my best dagger. Keep it on your person at all times."_

_Connected by your souls.._.

_Even stronger then friends..._

Hmm.

Looking around to see if anyone (other then the guards perched outside his windows and in the hallways, who didn't move enough to count) he slowly picked up the dagger and placed it above his head. _I wonder_...

"WAAAAAAIIIIIIYYYYYAAAAAAAHHH H!"

"CONVENIENTLY AWAKEN TELEPATHIC POWERS! ROYAL LAN FAN- CALLING TELEPATHY ACTIVATE! WWWWWAAAAAAAHHH-"  
_  
"Young Lord!"_

Lan Fan appeared at the window, fully dressed and daggers at the ready.

Ling nearly dropped the dagger. "It worked?"

"What worked? I heard you screaming like some old women and came here as fast as I can! What is it?! Are there assassins?!"

"No-no, there aren't any assassins-"

"Then why are you holding your dagger?"

"Well...it's because- Wait. You have a 104 fever and you ran all the way to-"

"I'll call the guards. We have to search the palace-"

"NO! Do you know how much paperwork that'll mean for me? Besides, I swear, there aren't any-"

"You won't let me hunt down the assassins because of _paperwork_? Young Lord, you need to get a better work ethic or you'll-"

"There is _nothing wrong with my work ethic_!"

"There isn't any time for this! I'll just go search for them myself!"

"You're NOT GOING because THERE ARE NO ASSASSINS and I do NOT scream like an old woman and THERE'S NOTHING WRONG with my work ethic and _YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN BED!_"

===()===

Alphonse and Mei watched the whole scene from a crack in the door, and were probably more stunned than they would've been if an assassination had actually taken place.

"Well," said Alphonse, "I think Brother may have just lost the title as 'Biggest Idiot in the Universe'. What say you, teacher?"

"I'd say it's more like a tie," replied Mei. She hung her head. "And this is the man who rules a fifth of the human population."

"We're doomed."

Mei gave a small laugh.

"So," continued the alchemist, "Now that we confirmed that the scream was in fact His Royal Highness, and not a cat being tortured to death, I guess we should turn in for the night?"

"A wise suggestion, my pupil." the princess intoned in her most sage-like voice. She gave a sly smile. "But...let us take the long way back to our chambers."

And, lacing their fingers together in a way that no proper master and student should, the two walked away together.

**A/N: And there you have it, folks! My very first FMAB fanfiction! I actually started this during the summer, but I never got my account until today. Plus there was editing. A lot. Of. Editing. (Hence the reason I mentioned my 10****th**** grade teacher even though I'm in the 11****th**** grade now.) Please Review! Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.**

**P.S. I was looking at this the other day, and I saw that there was some major writing errors. (I swear to Truth, those things are like WEEDS. You get rid of them, turn around, and then-BANG! You come back and there are a dozen more right in front of your face, mocking you. *Sigh*.) Anyway, if you see any blaring grammar, structure, or spelling errors, please let me know. Thank you!**


End file.
